Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label funny. Show all posts
Monday, February 20, 2012
Overheard this morning
April: (singing) Bubblegum, bubblegum, in a machine
Autumn: April, it's not machine, it's dish.
April: Why would it be in a dish?
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Conversations with my kids
On careers.
This is my friend, Leigh Archer. His picture is in a real estate publication my daughter picked up at the store yesterday. She was looking at all the pictures on the back and when she got to him she said, "Whoah! I know that guy!" I told her who he was and she was awed. Rock start status, I tell you.
Then, later that evening, my 13 year old son picked up the same publication and asked me what I was doing with it. I told him that Anna had picked it up and noticed someone we knew. Here's how our conversation went after that.
John: Who's that?
Me: It's Leigh. He goes to our church.
John: Why's he on that ad?
Me: He sells houses.
John: Is that why he's so rich?
Me: What?
John: He has a nice car.
Me: Yeah.
John: He has a nice house.
Me: Yeah.
John: He has nice glasses.
Me: Yeah.
John: He always looks like he just took a shower and he's from Canada.
Me: So based on all those things, he's rich?
John: Yeah. He's cool. I wanna sell houses.
This is my friend, Leigh Archer. His picture is in a real estate publication my daughter picked up at the store yesterday. She was looking at all the pictures on the back and when she got to him she said, "Whoah! I know that guy!" I told her who he was and she was awed. Rock start status, I tell you.
Then, later that evening, my 13 year old son picked up the same publication and asked me what I was doing with it. I told him that Anna had picked it up and noticed someone we knew. Here's how our conversation went after that.
John: Who's that?
Me: It's Leigh. He goes to our church.
John: Why's he on that ad?
Me: He sells houses.
John: Is that why he's so rich?
Me: What?
John: He has a nice car.
Me: Yeah.
John: He has a nice house.
Me: Yeah.
John: He has nice glasses.
Me: Yeah.
John: He always looks like he just took a shower and he's from Canada.
Me: So based on all those things, he's rich?
John: Yeah. He's cool. I wanna sell houses.
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
The problem with choices
In our house, we've been trying to give our kids more choices. When they are acting up, I give them a choice between changing their behavior or continuing - with consequences. It works pretty well when I don't get lazy and resort to ordering them around like a drill sergeant.
My youngest, April, is pretty used to the drill. This morning, she was making noises at the table while we were trying to do school. I gave her the choice of making noises in the other room by herself or stopping the noise and staying with us at the table. She sighed and chose to stay with us.
Later on, I was giving her her reading lesson. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and when she came back she had this to report:
April: I was going to the bathroom and God told me I had a choice whether I wanted to wipe or not.
Me: Oh, great. Well, what did you choose?
April: I chose not to.
She later admitted that she was just joking. I didn't check to see.
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
A Perfectly Random Thursday
This past week has been a hodgepodge of activities. On Friday night, I wanted to take my girls to the movies since Mr. Park and my boy were hunting. At first, I planned on taking them to the dollar movie, but the only movie playing there was the smurfs. Thankfully, I remembered the historic theater in town that usually plays old Christmas movies around this time of year. I checked their schedule and sure enough, they were showing White Christmas. Oh, how I love that movie. And to see it at The Paramount really makes it an experience. Here's a shot of the girls before the movie started. This was taken right after April said, "Oh my goodness! This place is so romantic!"
I was really proud because the place was packed. It seems like so much is vying for our attention these days, especially with movies, so it was refreshing to see a theater almost completely filled to see a Christmas movie from 1954. And the audience ranged from little kids to senior citizens with lots of college students in between.
On Saturday night, our family had a date to watch Rudolph on CBS. Of course, we all know the words and say them out loud along with all the songs. When April was just 2 1/2, she cried at the part where Rudolph didn't get to play in all the reindeer games. We thought it was just a fluke, but when we asked her what was wrong, she said she felt sorry for Rudolph because he got left out. Now, whenever we get to that part in the movie, everyone looks at April to see how she's doing. This year she got a little irritated and said, "Stop looking at me. I'm not gonna cry this time!"
After Rudolph, we watched It's a Wonderful Life and I cried like I always do. It's such a good movie to watch to reset yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed with the commercialism of the holidays or just hopeless in your situation. It reminds me that I always have something to be thankful for.
Speaking of being thankful, I got my Christmas present early this year. And this is it.
As you can imagine, I've been making smoothies like a mad woman. I'm sure one of these days I'll get around to watching the DVD that came with it so I can get my money's worth out of it, but for now, I'm happy to make a delicious smoothie every morning for Mr. Park before work and have him tell me that it really hit the spot and he didn't even think about food until well after noon.
One evening this past week, Mr. Park played a game with the kids where he would hide a little elf ornament while the kids sat on the couch. Then the kids would open their eyes and try to see who could spot it first. It turned into a story time where Mr Park told the kids about the mean side of Santa's elves. And then my boy, who is always looking for an opportunity to liven things up, dressed up as what he imagines a scary elf would look like, quietly went out the back door, walked around the house to the front door and knocked. The evening ended in screams and running around and eventually a request to be walked to bed because they were scared. I always say our kids are either going to be the most well-rounded kids on the block or they're going to need therapy.
This is what I found when I walked in from taking a short trip to the store yesterday. I wonder if this is what the rapture is going to look like.
Here's some random things I've heard from my kids this past week.
On music:
(With Kenny G's version of Silver Bells playing on the radio)
Autie: Can you change this, please. I don't like jazz.
Me: I didn't know you even knew what jazz was.
Autie: Oh, yeah, I know about jazz and I don't like it.
On travel:
April: (with a sigh) I can't wait to go to France someday and see the awful tower.
On being efficient:
The kids' Papa came over to cut some wood and when April went out to see him he had his foot propped up on his truck tying his shoe.
April: Hey, Papa, whatcha doing?
Papa: I'm tying my shoe, darlin.
April: Why'd you come over here to do it?
On respect:
Me: Anna, I need a response from you. When you just shrug, I think you're ignoring me.
Anna: Yes, ma'am. (rolling eyes)
April: Ahhhh, I remember when I used to say, yes ma'am. Yes ma'am, yes mam, yes ma'am."
I was really proud because the place was packed. It seems like so much is vying for our attention these days, especially with movies, so it was refreshing to see a theater almost completely filled to see a Christmas movie from 1954. And the audience ranged from little kids to senior citizens with lots of college students in between.
On Saturday night, our family had a date to watch Rudolph on CBS. Of course, we all know the words and say them out loud along with all the songs. When April was just 2 1/2, she cried at the part where Rudolph didn't get to play in all the reindeer games. We thought it was just a fluke, but when we asked her what was wrong, she said she felt sorry for Rudolph because he got left out. Now, whenever we get to that part in the movie, everyone looks at April to see how she's doing. This year she got a little irritated and said, "Stop looking at me. I'm not gonna cry this time!"
After Rudolph, we watched It's a Wonderful Life and I cried like I always do. It's such a good movie to watch to reset yourself if you're feeling overwhelmed with the commercialism of the holidays or just hopeless in your situation. It reminds me that I always have something to be thankful for.
Speaking of being thankful, I got my Christmas present early this year. And this is it.
As you can imagine, I've been making smoothies like a mad woman. I'm sure one of these days I'll get around to watching the DVD that came with it so I can get my money's worth out of it, but for now, I'm happy to make a delicious smoothie every morning for Mr. Park before work and have him tell me that it really hit the spot and he didn't even think about food until well after noon.
One evening this past week, Mr. Park played a game with the kids where he would hide a little elf ornament while the kids sat on the couch. Then the kids would open their eyes and try to see who could spot it first. It turned into a story time where Mr Park told the kids about the mean side of Santa's elves. And then my boy, who is always looking for an opportunity to liven things up, dressed up as what he imagines a scary elf would look like, quietly went out the back door, walked around the house to the front door and knocked. The evening ended in screams and running around and eventually a request to be walked to bed because they were scared. I always say our kids are either going to be the most well-rounded kids on the block or they're going to need therapy.
This is what I found when I walked in from taking a short trip to the store yesterday. I wonder if this is what the rapture is going to look like.
On music:
(With Kenny G's version of Silver Bells playing on the radio)
Autie: Can you change this, please. I don't like jazz.
Me: I didn't know you even knew what jazz was.
Autie: Oh, yeah, I know about jazz and I don't like it.
On travel:
April: (with a sigh) I can't wait to go to France someday and see the awful tower.
On being efficient:
The kids' Papa came over to cut some wood and when April went out to see him he had his foot propped up on his truck tying his shoe.
April: Hey, Papa, whatcha doing?
Papa: I'm tying my shoe, darlin.
April: Why'd you come over here to do it?
On respect:
Me: Anna, I need a response from you. When you just shrug, I think you're ignoring me.
Anna: Yes, ma'am. (rolling eyes)
April: Ahhhh, I remember when I used to say, yes ma'am. Yes ma'am, yes mam, yes ma'am."
Thursday, December 01, 2011
Things kids say
From time to time I'll be posting things that my kids say because as you may know, I don't scrapbook and I'm a terrible journaler. (I think I made up that word) I have four kids and three of them are girls so I pretty much have an endless supply of good material for this blog. Don't worry, though, I have lots of other important things to blog about. Today just isn't one of those days.
On Homeschool vs Public:
(This is one of those conversations that really boosts my confidence in the decision I made to homeschool my kids. (Note: I may or may not have said the things I was accused of. I don't remember. If I did, I'm sure I didn't mean it.))
April (5yo): Mom, remember when we drove by the school and you said it was junky?
Me: I don't remember saying that.
April: Remember, I said I wanted to go back to my old school and you said oh, you don't want to go back to that junky old school?
Me: I don't remember using those words exactly, why?
April: Well, I was just in my room with Blaise, and she can read already and I can't and so I was thinking well, maybe that school's not so junky after all.
Me: (sigh)
On favorite colors:
Autumn (8yo): Hey, what's everyone's favorite color?
April: I like puwple.
Autumn: I like blue.
Anna (9yo): I like cayenne.
Me: (perking up) Oh, Anna, that's a great color. You mean, the rusty red color?
Anna: No, it's not red at all.
Me: Oh, wait, do you mean cyan?
Anna: Yeah, that's it. I got the c sounds mixed up.
On future professions:
Me: What do y'all want to be when you grow up?
Autie: I want to be a massage therapist.
Anna: I want to work in the reptile section at the zoo so I can bring home a snake and scare John.
April: I want to be in karate.
Wednesday, November 30, 2011
Monster fingers
Yesterday afternoon I got groceries, came home and unloaded them all and then put them all away. After that, I made supper. After that, we all ate. After that, I was tired. I sat down on the couch with a book so I could rest a bit before starting the whole process of cleaning up the kitchen and getting everyone ready for bed. Mr. Park took over with the kids and when he does that, it either turns into a quiet evening with music and drawing or a crazy evening with wrestling matches and a daddy monster chasing little children. Last night, it started out calm enough, but things quickly turned crazy when Mr. Park pulled out the kid's favorite game.
This game is a favorite with all kids, actually. Mr. Park holds his hands out flat, palm side down, and the kids, in turns, select a finger to push down. With every finger that's pushed down, Mr. Park makes a funny noise. Eventually, you never know when, someone will push down the finger that activates the monster. When that happens, all kinds of crazy breaks loose. Tonight, I decided to video the whole thing so you can get a feel for the suspense that builds in the room.
By the way, that high-pitched scream you hear above all the others is my 13 year old son's. And it's days are numbered.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
On going paperless...
The first to notice was Mr. Park. He was helping me clean up the kitchen one night and he asked where the paper towels were. I told him to just use a rag. That wasn't hard for me because I don't usually clean up my kitchen with paper towels. I'm a dishrag kind of girl. I like to have lots of them on hand and I like a clean one every day. Sometimes twice a day if someone else has been in my kitchen. He rolled his eyes and got a rag out of the drawer.
A few nights later, we had friends over for dinner and one of them asked if I had a paper towel to wipe her daughter's mouth. I sheepishly told her we were sort of trying to go paperless in the kitchen and sorry but I don't have any and here's a clean dishrag. That one was a little harder, but I'd say I was still feeling pretty confident with my new lifestyle decision. Until last night.
Here's the list of events that took place. I assure you, none of this was made up.
- I awoke at 2:45 am to go to the bathroom.
- I went into the living room to check on my daughter who had asked if she could fall asleep to a movie on the couch.
- She was out cold and the Highschool Musical menu page was still playing that familiar Wildcat anthem for the one hundredth time so I turned it and the tv off.
- I turned off all the lights she had left on because she doesn't like to sleep in the dark.
- I heard a noise near the back door that I couldn't put my finger on so I went to check it out.
- But first, I turned all the lights back on. (I know you're not supposed to turn on all the lights when you think you hear a noise, but I'm a girl and I forget things my husband has told me when I get scared.)
- On my way, our cat came around the corner and I realized it was just her using the litter box.
- I picked her up.
- I smelled something awful.
- I felt something moist on my side where I had held her on my hip.
- I immediately dropped the cat and looked at my night shirt. Stained. With cat poop.
- I know that's not normal so I go over to the litter box and simultaneously discover the source of the horrific smell and that my cat has diarrhea AND had unknowingly backed her rear up over the edge of the litter box and missed it completely.
- At that point I asked myself, "Where are those !@#$% paper towels?"
- I tore my kitchen apart until I found a stack of napkins from Subway and cleaned up the mess before it had a chance to harden on the floor.
- Changed my shirt.
- Crawled back in bed.
I think I'm going to "half cross-off" item #15. I will still purchase paper towels, BUT I will stash them in a place that I alone know about. While you're hiding Christmas presents, I'll be hiding paper towels. That way, in emergencies, like the one mentioned above, I'll have access to them, but for everyday things like wiping sticky hands and cleaning kitchen counters, we'll stick to rags.
Then I'll feel better about being a little less wasteful, but in the event that I need to clean up cat diarrhea, or vomit or anything else where I want to clean it up, toss it in the trash and be done with it, I'll have a stash of paper towels for that purpose.
Baby steps, Bob. It's all about the baby steps.
Note: This post is dedicated to my hardcore, cat-loving friend, Leilani. I'm sure her highly intelligent cat-children would never misjudge the edge of the litter box and make a mess for their momma. You can read more about them here.
Friday, November 18, 2011
Skills
Pretty exciting night at the Park house last night. Watched a documentary about Egypt and then for the after-entertainment, my husband showed off his awesome skills.
Yeah, you heard right, he's humming Devil Went Down to Georgia. Guess he's planning on getting really good at this. ;)
Yeah, you heard right, he's humming Devil Went Down to Georgia. Guess he's planning on getting really good at this. ;)
Saturday, October 04, 2008
Hollister
As some of you may know, a year or so ago I accidentally wandered into Hollister at the one and only mall in town. I don't know what I was thinking and I can't imagine the look I had on my face when I walked in, but I made an about face before my eyes even had a chance to adjust to the cave like interior. I realized immediately that I didn't belong there and I had to get out.
Well, I've wondered about that place ever since and when I went to the mall today to pick up a Webkinz for my daughter's birthday, I purposed in my heart to give it another try and see what all the commotion was about...and I heard a rumor that they have their own line of fragrance pumped into the mall's air conditioning system so people will be drawn to their store. Hmmm. Sounds very mysterious.
This time, I walked in like I owned the place. I didn't want to look like a mom. I made a sharp turn to the right, right after the living room set up and didn't notice until later that I actually entered the correct side, the "Betty" side. Score one for the mom! It was still very dark. I think it would be helpful to hand out headlamps at the entrance. Wouldn't that be so cool? I mean, rad. Excuse me, sweeeet. That's it, sweet.
Also, the music was turned up way too loud for me to do the kind of concentrating I need to do to shop for clothes. I do my best shopping with big fluorescent lights and a touch of Barry Manilow in the background. Go ahead, call me old. And I'm pretty sure the song that was playing when I walked in was talking about sex. Not that they didn't have songs like that when I was young. I just don't appreciate them like I did back then.
As soon as I got in to the main part of the cave, I mean store, this perky little sales girl said in a high pitched squeal, "Hi! How you doin?" With a "deer in the headlights" look, I said, "Fine. I don't need anything. I'm just looking."
I walked briskly past her and entered the part of the store where the fragrances and cash registers are and apparently where everyone just hangs out. I mean it. There were young kids everywhere just standing around talking. Just when I decided I was going to try to make it to the back wall of the store, touch it, and then run out, I saw the teenage son of a friend of mine. "Hi Nick!" I said nervously as I gave him a side hug. He said, "Hey." and then I felt the need to say, "I'm just looking around." He gave me an "Okay." And not just any "okay," it was the kind of "okay" you say when what you really meant was, "I don't remember asking, but, okay."
After that I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I took a quick peek into the back part of the store, felt a bunch of teen aged eyes boring into me for trespassing on their sacred ground, circled a rack of polo shirts and headed for the exit. Whoa, that was pretty rough.
I have to admit, though, that place smelled fantastic!
Well, I've wondered about that place ever since and when I went to the mall today to pick up a Webkinz for my daughter's birthday, I purposed in my heart to give it another try and see what all the commotion was about...and I heard a rumor that they have their own line of fragrance pumped into the mall's air conditioning system so people will be drawn to their store. Hmmm. Sounds very mysterious.
This time, I walked in like I owned the place. I didn't want to look like a mom. I made a sharp turn to the right, right after the living room set up and didn't notice until later that I actually entered the correct side, the "Betty" side. Score one for the mom! It was still very dark. I think it would be helpful to hand out headlamps at the entrance. Wouldn't that be so cool? I mean, rad. Excuse me, sweeeet. That's it, sweet.
Also, the music was turned up way too loud for me to do the kind of concentrating I need to do to shop for clothes. I do my best shopping with big fluorescent lights and a touch of Barry Manilow in the background. Go ahead, call me old. And I'm pretty sure the song that was playing when I walked in was talking about sex. Not that they didn't have songs like that when I was young. I just don't appreciate them like I did back then.
As soon as I got in to the main part of the cave, I mean store, this perky little sales girl said in a high pitched squeal, "Hi! How you doin?" With a "deer in the headlights" look, I said, "Fine. I don't need anything. I'm just looking."
I walked briskly past her and entered the part of the store where the fragrances and cash registers are and apparently where everyone just hangs out. I mean it. There were young kids everywhere just standing around talking. Just when I decided I was going to try to make it to the back wall of the store, touch it, and then run out, I saw the teenage son of a friend of mine. "Hi Nick!" I said nervously as I gave him a side hug. He said, "Hey." and then I felt the need to say, "I'm just looking around." He gave me an "Okay." And not just any "okay," it was the kind of "okay" you say when what you really meant was, "I don't remember asking, but, okay."
After that I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I took a quick peek into the back part of the store, felt a bunch of teen aged eyes boring into me for trespassing on their sacred ground, circled a rack of polo shirts and headed for the exit. Whoa, that was pretty rough.
I have to admit, though, that place smelled fantastic!
Sunday, January 13, 2008
For your Sunday afternoon laughing pleasure...
Apparently, this guy is my long lost twin. Either that, or my soul mate.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Lost in Translation
My ultra middle child, Autie, has been a little emotional lately. Since school has started back up, she feels kind of left out being at home with the "baby" while the big kids are at school. Last night she was crying about some pillow my mom gave her and saying she just had to go and give it back to her. I figured she just needed to spend some quality time with Nana and then she'd be alright. So, this morning, I called my mom and asked her what her schedule looked like. We nailed down a time and then I handed the phone to Autie so Nana could tell her when she would be coming.
When Autie handed the phone back to me, I said, "What did Nana say?" She started rattling off all this stuff about a ball and blocks and a big castle. I told her to hold on while I finished talking to Nana. I said, "Mom, what in the world did you tell her?" She said that she simply told Autie that she had bowling this week so she would have to come next week. Autie asked her what bowling was and my mom told her that bowling is where you take a big ball and roll it down a long hallway and hit blocks and knock them down. Well, Autie stopped listening after she heard the words "big ball!" I'm sure she pictured a big beautiful ball with all the most popular princesses and their handsome princes dancing in the ballroom of a big beautiful castle.
I told my mom, "I can't imagine what she thinks your life is like, what with all the balls and castles and all. No wonder she wants to come stay with you. I hope she's not too disappointed."
I think they should name her generation the "princess generation" because sometimes I think that's all they think about!
When Autie handed the phone back to me, I said, "What did Nana say?" She started rattling off all this stuff about a ball and blocks and a big castle. I told her to hold on while I finished talking to Nana. I said, "Mom, what in the world did you tell her?" She said that she simply told Autie that she had bowling this week so she would have to come next week. Autie asked her what bowling was and my mom told her that bowling is where you take a big ball and roll it down a long hallway and hit blocks and knock them down. Well, Autie stopped listening after she heard the words "big ball!" I'm sure she pictured a big beautiful ball with all the most popular princesses and their handsome princes dancing in the ballroom of a big beautiful castle.
I told my mom, "I can't imagine what she thinks your life is like, what with all the balls and castles and all. No wonder she wants to come stay with you. I hope she's not too disappointed."
I think they should name her generation the "princess generation" because sometimes I think that's all they think about!
Monday, December 31, 2007
Hey everyone! Here's a story I entered for a funny story contest to win a family organizer at Laughing Always Helps. Check it out.
My mother-in-law is a twin and she and her sister go just about everywhere together, doctor appt's, shopping, running errands, etc. On this particular day, they went to the grocery store together and when they got there, they decided to split up to do their individual shopping and then meet back up at the car when they finished.
My m-i-l got done first, went through the checkout, paid and then followed the little teenage sacker boy out to the parking lot. When they got to the edge of the parking lot, she stopped and said, "Hmmmm. Now where did I park?" The sacker said, "What kind of car is it?" She replied, "It's a maroon Tahoe." "Is that it over there?"
She said it was and they walked to the car and unloaded the groceries.
The sacker walked the cart back into the store and looked for another customer who needed help. That customer happened to be my m-i-l's twin sister. He started sacking her groceries while she paid and when they were done, she followed him out to the parking lot. As soon as they got to the edge of the parking lot she said, and I'm not kidding here, "Now where did I park my car?" The sacker boy got a really strange look on his face and said really slowly, "Is....it....a....maroon Tahoe?" To which she replied, "Why, yes! How did you know?" He said, "Because I just unloaded your groceries in it."
She realized what had happened, explained to the boy that he was not crazy, she was just a twin and they all had a good laugh about it!
Happy New Year!
My mother-in-law is a twin and she and her sister go just about everywhere together, doctor appt's, shopping, running errands, etc. On this particular day, they went to the grocery store together and when they got there, they decided to split up to do their individual shopping and then meet back up at the car when they finished.
My m-i-l got done first, went through the checkout, paid and then followed the little teenage sacker boy out to the parking lot. When they got to the edge of the parking lot, she stopped and said, "Hmmmm. Now where did I park?" The sacker said, "What kind of car is it?" She replied, "It's a maroon Tahoe." "Is that it over there?"
She said it was and they walked to the car and unloaded the groceries.
The sacker walked the cart back into the store and looked for another customer who needed help. That customer happened to be my m-i-l's twin sister. He started sacking her groceries while she paid and when they were done, she followed him out to the parking lot. As soon as they got to the edge of the parking lot she said, and I'm not kidding here, "Now where did I park my car?" The sacker boy got a really strange look on his face and said really slowly, "Is....it....a....maroon Tahoe?" To which she replied, "Why, yes! How did you know?" He said, "Because I just unloaded your groceries in it."
She realized what had happened, explained to the boy that he was not crazy, she was just a twin and they all had a good laugh about it!
Happy New Year!
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Our family recently acquired a cat. By acquired, I mean the kids found a cat on the back porch, fed it, played with it and now it's ours. We have since then taken her to the vet to get her shots and get her fixed. This is important because Elliott's aunt Jane has about 35 cats in her backyard and about a third of them are, how shall I put it...not quite right.
Anyway, I don't know where this cat came from but the kids named her Milo and I think she used to be a house cat. Everytime the door opens even a little bit, she comes bolting in like we'd locked her out and she finally got back in where she belongs. Of course she doesn't belong in the house. No animal belongs in the house, except for the occasional fish or turtle, until I eventually convince the kids that nature belongs outside....with nature.
Milo is a pretty smart cat. She figured out somehow where Elliott and I sleep and the exact window that our bed is under and sometimes, at 4 in the morning, she will sit on the window sill and meow until I go outside to replenish her food and water only to find that she has everything she needs. Except a place to sleep in our house.
Today, while I was fixing lunch for the kids, she started whining at the door. She usually does that at some point during the day, but this time, she wouldn't let up. It was like one constant meow. I started to think that maybe she was hurt or something so I walked over to the door and by this time she was hanging on to the bottom of the window that's in the door and looking in the window, I guess, to see if I was paying any attention to her. I opened the door and she just looked up at me. She didn't even try to bolt into the house. That's when I noticed what was on the door mat. A frail little gray and yellow bird. Dead, of course. I couldn't believe it. She wanted me to see what she had done and she was obviously very proud of herself. Elliott had warned me that he saw her stalking birds around the bird bath. I wasn't sure what to do because she acted like she wanted me to do something with it. I knew I couldn't be mad because that's what cats do...in nature. I bent down and with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster, I patted her on the head and said, "Good girl, Milo. I'm so proud of you. Now take it somewhere else." With that, she picked the bird up in her teeth and took it to the other side of the porch where she promptly started to eat it. I checked back after a couple of minutes and there were only a few feathers left and she was apparently chasing the whole thing down with some dry cat food.
The whole experience was morbidly sweet. She's starting to grow on me. I think we'll keep her.
Anyway, I don't know where this cat came from but the kids named her Milo and I think she used to be a house cat. Everytime the door opens even a little bit, she comes bolting in like we'd locked her out and she finally got back in where she belongs. Of course she doesn't belong in the house. No animal belongs in the house, except for the occasional fish or turtle, until I eventually convince the kids that nature belongs outside....with nature.
Milo is a pretty smart cat. She figured out somehow where Elliott and I sleep and the exact window that our bed is under and sometimes, at 4 in the morning, she will sit on the window sill and meow until I go outside to replenish her food and water only to find that she has everything she needs. Except a place to sleep in our house.
Today, while I was fixing lunch for the kids, she started whining at the door. She usually does that at some point during the day, but this time, she wouldn't let up. It was like one constant meow. I started to think that maybe she was hurt or something so I walked over to the door and by this time she was hanging on to the bottom of the window that's in the door and looking in the window, I guess, to see if I was paying any attention to her. I opened the door and she just looked up at me. She didn't even try to bolt into the house. That's when I noticed what was on the door mat. A frail little gray and yellow bird. Dead, of course. I couldn't believe it. She wanted me to see what she had done and she was obviously very proud of herself. Elliott had warned me that he saw her stalking birds around the bird bath. I wasn't sure what to do because she acted like she wanted me to do something with it. I knew I couldn't be mad because that's what cats do...in nature. I bent down and with as much fake enthusiasm as I could muster, I patted her on the head and said, "Good girl, Milo. I'm so proud of you. Now take it somewhere else." With that, she picked the bird up in her teeth and took it to the other side of the porch where she promptly started to eat it. I checked back after a couple of minutes and there were only a few feathers left and she was apparently chasing the whole thing down with some dry cat food.
The whole experience was morbidly sweet. She's starting to grow on me. I think we'll keep her.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Becky, you're gonna love this!
Last week oprah did a special on the Youtube phenomena and this video is the most watched with over 64 million hits. The guy is some kind of conference speaker and he needed a demonstration for his talk about how quickly the world changes and how there are fads and trends that come and go. My son has been begging me to put this on my blog since he saw it last week. It's nostalgic and hilarious. I can't watch it without laughing out loud. I know it's 6 minutes long, but you won't be able to stop watching. My favorite parts are, of course Thriller and Ice Ice Baby. Enjoy!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Breath mint, please!
Yesterday, Elliott was telling Autie a story to try to get her to take a nap. [Mainly because he wanted to take one!] They laid down and Elliott started telling her about the three little pigs. Now this was a classic Elliott story with the names changed to make it more interesting and all the voices to make it a little scarier. When it came to the wolf's part, Elliott used his deepest, scariest, wolf voice and when he finished that part, he looked over at Autie and she had her hands covering her whole face. Elliott said, "What's wrong, Autie?"
Autie uncovered her face and said, "I don't like the way that wolf smells."
Autie uncovered her face and said, "I don't like the way that wolf smells."
Thursday, September 20, 2007
This morning, Elliott went to a funeral for an aquaintence. He was actually the deputy sheriff for Callahan County and his son sometimes played baseball with John. I only saw him a few times, but he was very nice and it's always sad when someone dies so young and has small children. Anyway, the funeral was at 10 and Elliott came in the house about 15 minutes after he had left. I asked him why he was back so soon and here's the conversation that followed:
Elliott: Well, the funeral was at the Church of Christ and you know how small it is. There were people standing outside just talking because there wasn't any room for anyone else in the church. I wasn't going to stand around outside talking to people I don't know about someone I didn't know very well for the whole funeral. [And, it's important to mention here that Elliott couldn't take off his suit jacket because I only had time to iron the front part of his shirt that showed.]
Pam: It was nice of you to try. I guess people just don't think about that kind of detail when someone dies. They just wanted to have it at his home church.
Elliott: Where are you going to have my funeral?
Pam: Probably the Civic Center.
Elliott: That's what I wanted to hear.
That was funny and all, but seriously, though, keep these guys in your prayers. They're people in our community that we see around town now and then and they have families and jobs and hopes and dreams and most importantly, destinies. This kind of thing just makes me want to get out and get to know those people we see "every now and then" even more. This is the kind of thing that is a defining moment in someone's life. This can make or break a person. Not to mention a child. They need Jesus now more than ever. Anyway, you all know this stuff. I'm just preachin' to the choir.
Elliott: Well, the funeral was at the Church of Christ and you know how small it is. There were people standing outside just talking because there wasn't any room for anyone else in the church. I wasn't going to stand around outside talking to people I don't know about someone I didn't know very well for the whole funeral. [And, it's important to mention here that Elliott couldn't take off his suit jacket because I only had time to iron the front part of his shirt that showed.]
Pam: It was nice of you to try. I guess people just don't think about that kind of detail when someone dies. They just wanted to have it at his home church.
Elliott: Where are you going to have my funeral?
Pam: Probably the Civic Center.
Elliott: That's what I wanted to hear.
That was funny and all, but seriously, though, keep these guys in your prayers. They're people in our community that we see around town now and then and they have families and jobs and hopes and dreams and most importantly, destinies. This kind of thing just makes me want to get out and get to know those people we see "every now and then" even more. This is the kind of thing that is a defining moment in someone's life. This can make or break a person. Not to mention a child. They need Jesus now more than ever. Anyway, you all know this stuff. I'm just preachin' to the choir.
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Sandwiches, naps, one autograph and, oh yeah, some pretty expensive books
This post could prove to be a little long winded, but hang in there it's pretty funny.
Earlier in the summer, I was at home on a regular day with the kids screaming in the living room and Elliott looking, hopelessly, for some peace and quiet in his office in the bedroom. I was sitting at my computer, goofing off, when I heard a loud knock at the door. I jumped, of course, and turned around to see someone I didn't recognize standing on the porch. When I opened the door, I found a cute little college girl with her hair pulled back and a really sweet smile. She introduced herself as Jenny and started to make conversation with my kids. I felt a little weird at this point because I didn't know who she was or why she was on my porch. She asked if she could sit down and talk with me for a bit about books and children's education. Things like that. I thought maybe she was an overachieving college student from Abilene who maybe had a student teaching job at one of the schools or something and she was out getting acquainted with everyone. How sweet. Well, turns out she's straight up a sales person for a book company. And a pretty good one at that, judging by the books I can see on my shelf right now. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
She starts doing the sales person thing where they show you everything they have and everything it does and asking you questions like, "Don't you think you could use something like this?" and "I bet this could come in pretty handy with four kids around." She kept asking me random school questions about science and history. I didn't know all of the answers, but I knew enough for her to call me a super mom more than once and attempt to give me no less than 14 high fives. Here's how it would go:
Jenny: I bet you don't know what photosynthesis is, do you?
Me: Well, I believe it's the process that's plants use to turn sunlight into energy.
Jenny: Wow, you're a supermom. High five!
Me: (embarrassed)
Just about that time, Elliott comes out onto the porch wondering what we're all doing out there on such an uncomfortable afternoon. I said, "Honey, this is Jenny. She wants to show us some books." Coming to my rescue like he does, Elliott says, "Well why don't we go inside where it's cooler." Sure. We want her to be completely comfortable so she can finish this thing. Elliott starts trying to get to the point and find out how much everything is, but she's staying firmly on track. Finally, Elliott tells her that he's not interested in anything but the reference books and would you please tell me how much they are. She starts going into quiz mode again asking, "Do you know how much college text books are now days? How much do you think one of these books is worth? How much do you think all of them are worth?" We eventually got a price out of her and I looked at Elliott and said, "This is your call. Whatever." So we bought them.
You have to know Elliott, though. As most of you do. He is very old fashioned. If someone came by selling big, clunky, black, rotary dial phones door to door, Elliott would buy two of them. Even though he's in a business that's smack dab in the middle of technology, he hates progress. He loves knowing that in the event of a four day power outage, if he wants to know the capital of Tunisia, he can physically look it up.
So she says we can put half down now and we can pay the rest when the books arrive in August. (Don't even ask!)
Well, over the past weeks I've been hearing about this girl and all her weird supermom high-five behavior from all my friends. I will admit I was a little embarrassed that we had bought books from her. Anyway, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I got a little post card in the mail saying our books had arrived and Jenny would be by sometime on the 4th to deliver them and collect the balance. I totally forgot about the 4th on the 4th until I was in the middle of Lowe's with Elliott. I said, "Oh my gosh, what's today?" Elliott said, "Today is the 4th. Why?" I told him I had forgotten about the books and I wondered what she would do when we weren't there. Would she camp out on our porch? Would she go hang out at the in-laws house across the street? When we got home there was a message on the answering machine. It was Jenny and she was talking so fast I really couldn't hardly understand a thing she said. Did I mention she hails from North Carolina? I couldn't hear the phone number clearly and I couldn't find that stupid little yellow post card with her number on it so I just figured she'd come back the next day or something.
Well, she almost technically did come back the next day because as I was again sitting at my computer I heard a knock at the door at 10:54 PM!!! This time I jumped out of my seat, manually restarted my heart and turned around to see who in the world could be knocking at my door at that time of night. Honestly, the last person in the world I expected to see was Jenny the book girl. Who does that? So I open the door because I still couldn't see who was there and lo and behold, there's Jenny the book girl. She had the same big smile on her face and she was lugging a big plastic box with books in it. She said, "Hi. I have been delivering books all day. I have yours and I wanted to real quick show you how to use them." Use them? You mean, the books? I know how to use books. If you want to teach me about html or something like that, maybe another time. Books I can handle.
I invite her in and run around the house looking for Elliott's check book. Back and forth from the house to his truck because he says it's in there and I can't find it. Finally, I get her the check and she proceeds to show me how to use these books. Then she tries to sell some "extra books that the company shipped that if she doesn't sell them she'll be stuck with them so she's slashing the pricing and eating the extra tax and shipping costs." "I think I'll just stick with what I got" I told her.
This next part is a little surreal for me, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. After I thought we were done, she gets this sheepish look on her face and asks if she can ask a favor. I couldn't imagine what she was going to ask for. She said that some of the other people she talked to around town asked her if she knew who Elliott Park was. She said she just loved the song and she felt like a highschooler asking this, but could she maybe have Elliott's autograph. I wasn't even sure the superstar was awake. I went back to our room and he was at his computer, doing some kind of work. I told him Jenny the book girl was in the kitchen with our books and she wanted his autograph. I just left it at that. I was laughing so hard on the inside. Elliott came out, signed an extra Heartland cd we had in a drawer, she blushed, thanked him then went on her way.
I thought that would be the last I'd hear about Jenny the book girl. UNTIL...I was at my mother-in-laws house and I asked her if the book girl had come looking for us that day while we were out. She said, "No. She didn't come over here, but I was talking to some ladies at my church and a couple of the ladies said she did some strange things."
I asked her what they said and she proceeded to tell me the following conversation:
Nunie - Did a girl come by any of ya'lls houses selling books?
Woman #1 - Why, yes. And after she got done with her sales pitch she told me that she hadn't eaten all day and would it be possible for me to make her a sandwich. So I made her a sandwich.
Nanie (Nunie's sister) - She asked for a sandwich at my house, too. And I gave her one.
Woman #2 - She did the very same thing at my house, only after I made her the sandwich and she ate it, she asked if there was a place she might be able to lie down. I told her I had a guest room she could use and she took a really long nap in there.
The story was starting to sound vaguely familiar. Only she didn't have blonde hair and she wasn't poking around a cabin owned by bears who were out on a nature walk all afternoon. I thought maybe I was being punk'd, but come on, this is Clyde, Texas. I'm thankful that all she asked from us was an autograph because I don't have a guest room and I was not about to make a midnight snack for her!
Earlier in the summer, I was at home on a regular day with the kids screaming in the living room and Elliott looking, hopelessly, for some peace and quiet in his office in the bedroom. I was sitting at my computer, goofing off, when I heard a loud knock at the door. I jumped, of course, and turned around to see someone I didn't recognize standing on the porch. When I opened the door, I found a cute little college girl with her hair pulled back and a really sweet smile. She introduced herself as Jenny and started to make conversation with my kids. I felt a little weird at this point because I didn't know who she was or why she was on my porch. She asked if she could sit down and talk with me for a bit about books and children's education. Things like that. I thought maybe she was an overachieving college student from Abilene who maybe had a student teaching job at one of the schools or something and she was out getting acquainted with everyone. How sweet. Well, turns out she's straight up a sales person for a book company. And a pretty good one at that, judging by the books I can see on my shelf right now. Sorry, I'm getting ahead of myself.
She starts doing the sales person thing where they show you everything they have and everything it does and asking you questions like, "Don't you think you could use something like this?" and "I bet this could come in pretty handy with four kids around." She kept asking me random school questions about science and history. I didn't know all of the answers, but I knew enough for her to call me a super mom more than once and attempt to give me no less than 14 high fives. Here's how it would go:
Jenny: I bet you don't know what photosynthesis is, do you?
Me: Well, I believe it's the process that's plants use to turn sunlight into energy.
Jenny: Wow, you're a supermom. High five!
Me: (embarrassed)
Just about that time, Elliott comes out onto the porch wondering what we're all doing out there on such an uncomfortable afternoon. I said, "Honey, this is Jenny. She wants to show us some books." Coming to my rescue like he does, Elliott says, "Well why don't we go inside where it's cooler." Sure. We want her to be completely comfortable so she can finish this thing. Elliott starts trying to get to the point and find out how much everything is, but she's staying firmly on track. Finally, Elliott tells her that he's not interested in anything but the reference books and would you please tell me how much they are. She starts going into quiz mode again asking, "Do you know how much college text books are now days? How much do you think one of these books is worth? How much do you think all of them are worth?" We eventually got a price out of her and I looked at Elliott and said, "This is your call. Whatever." So we bought them.
You have to know Elliott, though. As most of you do. He is very old fashioned. If someone came by selling big, clunky, black, rotary dial phones door to door, Elliott would buy two of them. Even though he's in a business that's smack dab in the middle of technology, he hates progress. He loves knowing that in the event of a four day power outage, if he wants to know the capital of Tunisia, he can physically look it up.
So she says we can put half down now and we can pay the rest when the books arrive in August. (Don't even ask!)
Well, over the past weeks I've been hearing about this girl and all her weird supermom high-five behavior from all my friends. I will admit I was a little embarrassed that we had bought books from her. Anyway, fast forward to a couple of weeks ago. I got a little post card in the mail saying our books had arrived and Jenny would be by sometime on the 4th to deliver them and collect the balance. I totally forgot about the 4th on the 4th until I was in the middle of Lowe's with Elliott. I said, "Oh my gosh, what's today?" Elliott said, "Today is the 4th. Why?" I told him I had forgotten about the books and I wondered what she would do when we weren't there. Would she camp out on our porch? Would she go hang out at the in-laws house across the street? When we got home there was a message on the answering machine. It was Jenny and she was talking so fast I really couldn't hardly understand a thing she said. Did I mention she hails from North Carolina? I couldn't hear the phone number clearly and I couldn't find that stupid little yellow post card with her number on it so I just figured she'd come back the next day or something.
Well, she almost technically did come back the next day because as I was again sitting at my computer I heard a knock at the door at 10:54 PM!!! This time I jumped out of my seat, manually restarted my heart and turned around to see who in the world could be knocking at my door at that time of night. Honestly, the last person in the world I expected to see was Jenny the book girl. Who does that? So I open the door because I still couldn't see who was there and lo and behold, there's Jenny the book girl. She had the same big smile on her face and she was lugging a big plastic box with books in it. She said, "Hi. I have been delivering books all day. I have yours and I wanted to real quick show you how to use them." Use them? You mean, the books? I know how to use books. If you want to teach me about html or something like that, maybe another time. Books I can handle.
I invite her in and run around the house looking for Elliott's check book. Back and forth from the house to his truck because he says it's in there and I can't find it. Finally, I get her the check and she proceeds to show me how to use these books. Then she tries to sell some "extra books that the company shipped that if she doesn't sell them she'll be stuck with them so she's slashing the pricing and eating the extra tax and shipping costs." "I think I'll just stick with what I got" I told her.
This next part is a little surreal for me, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. After I thought we were done, she gets this sheepish look on her face and asks if she can ask a favor. I couldn't imagine what she was going to ask for. She said that some of the other people she talked to around town asked her if she knew who Elliott Park was. She said she just loved the song and she felt like a highschooler asking this, but could she maybe have Elliott's autograph. I wasn't even sure the superstar was awake. I went back to our room and he was at his computer, doing some kind of work. I told him Jenny the book girl was in the kitchen with our books and she wanted his autograph. I just left it at that. I was laughing so hard on the inside. Elliott came out, signed an extra Heartland cd we had in a drawer, she blushed, thanked him then went on her way.
I thought that would be the last I'd hear about Jenny the book girl. UNTIL...I was at my mother-in-laws house and I asked her if the book girl had come looking for us that day while we were out. She said, "No. She didn't come over here, but I was talking to some ladies at my church and a couple of the ladies said she did some strange things."
I asked her what they said and she proceeded to tell me the following conversation:
Nunie - Did a girl come by any of ya'lls houses selling books?
Woman #1 - Why, yes. And after she got done with her sales pitch she told me that she hadn't eaten all day and would it be possible for me to make her a sandwich. So I made her a sandwich.
Nanie (Nunie's sister) - She asked for a sandwich at my house, too. And I gave her one.
Woman #2 - She did the very same thing at my house, only after I made her the sandwich and she ate it, she asked if there was a place she might be able to lie down. I told her I had a guest room she could use and she took a really long nap in there.
The story was starting to sound vaguely familiar. Only she didn't have blonde hair and she wasn't poking around a cabin owned by bears who were out on a nature walk all afternoon. I thought maybe I was being punk'd, but come on, this is Clyde, Texas. I'm thankful that all she asked from us was an autograph because I don't have a guest room and I was not about to make a midnight snack for her!
Friday, July 13, 2007
This little post is dedicated to my friends Alan and Cortney who will be heading off to a honeymoon in Mexico very soon!
On my computer, I have a screen saver slideshow of pictures of exotic places. Beautiful islands, tropical fish, hammocks under palm trees, places I would love to visit. Sometimes when it's going, the girls will just sit in my chair and look at the pictures. Well, today, John noticed the pictures.
John: Oh mom, can we go to that place for our vacation instead of the beach house?
Me: I don't think so. We're still going to Alabama. You can go to that place someday when you go on your honeymoon!
John: I don't want to go there on my honeymoon.
Me: Why not?
John: Because the girl will be there and I won't get to go swimming!
Congratulations Alan and Cortney. Have fun swimming in Mexico!
On my computer, I have a screen saver slideshow of pictures of exotic places. Beautiful islands, tropical fish, hammocks under palm trees, places I would love to visit. Sometimes when it's going, the girls will just sit in my chair and look at the pictures. Well, today, John noticed the pictures.
John: Oh mom, can we go to that place for our vacation instead of the beach house?
Me: I don't think so. We're still going to Alabama. You can go to that place someday when you go on your honeymoon!
John: I don't want to go there on my honeymoon.
Me: Why not?
John: Because the girl will be there and I won't get to go swimming!
Congratulations Alan and Cortney. Have fun swimming in Mexico!
Friday, June 22, 2007
A conversation between Anna and my mom while I was on vacation...
Mom: "Anna, the pizza is ready. Do you want the crust or the center?" (My mom always makes her pizzas on rectangular cookie sheets)
Anna: "I'll take the cemetery."
Mom: "I said, center, not cemetery. Do you even know what a cemetery is?"
Anna: "Yeah. It's a place for old people and Nunie and Nanie go there."
Observation of the day: April does not like watermelon. Can you believe it? I tried to give her some at Aaron and Rachel's the other night and she refused me. I thought she was just full, but sure enough, tonight, I gave her some more and she made her yucky face and pushed my hand away. I didn't know there were any children that didn't like wet, sticky, sweet stuff. It didn't even have seeds in it! Oh well, maybe it'll grow on her.
Mom: "Anna, the pizza is ready. Do you want the crust or the center?" (My mom always makes her pizzas on rectangular cookie sheets)
Anna: "I'll take the cemetery."
Mom: "I said, center, not cemetery. Do you even know what a cemetery is?"
Anna: "Yeah. It's a place for old people and Nunie and Nanie go there."
Observation of the day: April does not like watermelon. Can you believe it? I tried to give her some at Aaron and Rachel's the other night and she refused me. I thought she was just full, but sure enough, tonight, I gave her some more and she made her yucky face and pushed my hand away. I didn't know there were any children that didn't like wet, sticky, sweet stuff. It didn't even have seeds in it! Oh well, maybe it'll grow on her.
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Say what?
Two things that were said over the past few days that made me laugh:
After church on Sunday, John was sitting outside with his sisters playing with her new My Little Pony doll. He was actually brushing it's hair with the little plastic brush that came with it.
Erica: Hey John, I didn't know you liked to play with dolls.
John: It's not a doll. And besides, I'm a tomgirl.
I baked fish for supper last night. The kids are not used to seeing a lot of fish that aren't in the shape of sticks so they were a little wary. I knew they were going to start off complaining so I went ahead and put ketchup on all their plates to help them eat it.
Autie: I finished all my ketchup!
Me: You ate all your ketchup?
Autie: Yep. I finished all my ketchup.
Me: I put that there so you would eat the fish. Ketchup is a condiment, not a side.
Autie: Oh. I need more ketchup.
After church on Sunday, John was sitting outside with his sisters playing with her new My Little Pony doll. He was actually brushing it's hair with the little plastic brush that came with it.
Erica: Hey John, I didn't know you liked to play with dolls.
John: It's not a doll. And besides, I'm a tomgirl.
I baked fish for supper last night. The kids are not used to seeing a lot of fish that aren't in the shape of sticks so they were a little wary. I knew they were going to start off complaining so I went ahead and put ketchup on all their plates to help them eat it.
Autie: I finished all my ketchup!
Me: You ate all your ketchup?
Autie: Yep. I finished all my ketchup.
Me: I put that there so you would eat the fish. Ketchup is a condiment, not a side.
Autie: Oh. I need more ketchup.
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